It's funny how sometimes you think you know someone, and then, poof, out of the blue, you learn something that completely changes your perception of them.
Listen, avid reader. Jonny B can do magic. I jest you not.
I'd popped around to have a talk about the curious disease that has been affecting Chicken Four of late. Jonny B is standing there, holding Chicken Five at about waste level. Jonny B appears to be a bit naked, as in he's not wearing any clothes, at all. I consider this for a moment, as I have been trained to avoid making snap judgements. I decide to garner more knowledge of the situation.
"Jonny? Why are you holding Chicken Five at about waste level, with more than the normal level of undress common in these parts?"
Jonny appears to be a bit stumped by this line of questioning.
"Umm," he says. "Umm. Because...I am practicing my magic? Yes. I am practicing my magic. That is what I am doing."
"Oh," says I. "You can do magic? May I see some?"
"Of course", says Jonny, more confident now. "Observe."
And sure enough, before my very eyes, Jonny removes first one, and then the second, hand from Chicken Five.
Chicken Five does not fall to the ground in the normal chickenny manner. Chicken Five is floating in mid-air! Chicken Five looks as surprised as anyone about this turn of events.
I return to my house with a new respect for Jonny B. If he can manage to levitate the whole chicken brood is this manner, there may be a new David Blaine in town.
I stare at Chicken Four, who is taking refuge in my conservatory. Chicken Four is looking introspective. It is a shame that he will never experience the sensation of floating before Jonny B's navel. I would have thought that would be the highlight of any chicken's career.
I get the olive oil out of the cupboard, and prepare to stick my finger up his arse.
