On Big A

Big A's criminal empire is focussed on hardcore pornography for a niche market. The GILF fanbase is small but extremely lucrative, if targetted correctly. Operating out of the secretive Village Bowls Club, Big A has produced some of the finest silver-porn on the market, with such classics as Bowling For Concubines 7, Truly Great Head 4 and the interracial gay love classic, White Jack, Black Balls.

Big A coerces unsuspecting pensioners into his sordid movies with a heady blend of free malt-loaf, subsidised travel to and from Kings Lynn, and free annual membership of Knitting World. But most of the people I have talked to say it isn't just the perks on offer. It's the feeling of commarardarie you get whilst being spit-roasted by men with a combined age of over 150. Sometimes, I guess, people just need to feel wanted.

This week I caught wind of fisticuffs at the bowls club, after some over-aggressive fluffing resulted in an unexpected, and off-camera, money-shot. Jonny B was apparently there, as was Len the Fish, although neither seems to have been on the receiving end.

I will, however, keep a keener eye on the bowls club from now on.

Back

Jonny has come back to the village. His house is little more than a building site. My surveilance can resume.