Please navigate away from this page immediately...

...unless you have security clearance level D-503.

This is the secret and private notes of myself, Short Tony, concerning the ongoing surveillance of Subject "Jonny Billericay".

These pages are designated Ultra Top Secret and must not be viewed by members of the public.

If you do not have the requisite security clearance please close your browser window immediately. If you do not do this RIGHT NOW then we will come to your house, possibly with dogs, and certainly flashlights (if it is dark).

Dramatis Persons

Short Tony, I, Short Tony, am the hero of this blog, and Chief Agent in charge of monitoring the above suspect. My background is in Covert Ops, before many years working on project Dessert Chicken.

Jonny B, the subject of this diary, was identified in early 2004 as a major threat to capitalism and the English Way of Life. Shortly after dropping out of mainstream society, Jonny embarked upon a campaign of subterfuge from his base in the heart of rural Norfolk. He has been linked to several major terrorist incidents, drug-trafficking, assassinations and large-scale cruelty to animals. So far we have been unable to provide the CPS with conclusive proof of these crimes.

The LTLP, Jonny B's long-term life partner. At the present time we are unsure of the level of knowledge she has of her partner's subterfuge.

Big A, Narcoleptic Dave, Eddie and Len the Fish, are the remaining members of Jonny's sleeper cell. All are hardened criminals in their own right. More details are contained within the blog.

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Frequently Asked Questions

Is Jonny B actually Chris Evans?
The two have not been seen in the same location at the same time.

Or is he David Baddiel?
Maybe, we'll keep an eye on it.

Is everything true or do you make things up?
The Government never lies. If you believe this to be false, please send your name and address to us in an email, clearly entitled: Potential Terrorist.